I awakened again to see my mother in the corner praying. My mother has always been a religious woman. She wasn’t insane with it but she completely had faith in her God. I wasn’t so convinced most times. Right now I knew I needed prayer. I could hear the doctors talking to my father and Jessica. I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I didn’t want to know. I knew what had happened to me. I felt the injuries. They must have given me something for pain because the pain was dull but still there reaching out.
My mother saw me looking at her and came to my side.
My mother was shorter than me by a few inches with green beautiful eyes, fair skin, and naturally long curly hair. Her eyes always revealed her emotions. She looked at me, taking my hand and kissing them. She didn’t say anything. For the first time, she didn’t say anything. Tears came to her eyes and I looked away. Not now. Please don’t cry. I can’t cry anymore. Anger started to rise in me and I spoke so loud everyone turned around to look at me, even the nurses in the hallway.
“Where is he,” I yelled. “Where is he?”
I tried to sit up as my mother tried to calm me. Jessica ran over to my left side and grabbed my free hand.
“Toni honey. Please calm down. Lay down please. Please lay down,” she said softly pleading with me. I felt her hand on my hair and I flinched. I wanted to cut my hair off. He had used my hair to restrain me. I hated it.
She pulled her hand away and took my face in her small hands. She looked me in my eyes and told me she loved me. She told me that he had been arrested and was being held until the mornings bail hearing. He wasn’t going anywhere. Charges were already piling up against him including sodomy, rape, attempted murder, assault on an officer, and the list went on.
I started to breathe slower, easier. I laid back down. My mother stepped towards me but hesitated. I touched her arm and she came closer, hugging me. My father joined her, hugging me gently. Jessica stepped back to compose herself. I saw her wipe a tear from her eye. She was trying to be strong between all this chaos.
Then I saw her. The paramedic that helped me.
“Sean,” I managed to yell. I heard her footsteps stop and then start again.
She was standing in the doorway. My parents stepped back for her to approach me.
She was a tad shorter than me, about five foot five. She was slim but you could tell she worked out. Her thick black hair was pulled tightly back in a ponytail. Her eyes were soft but I could tell she had seen a lot. Her skin was smooth and clear. She took care of herself. I appreciated that in a person especially a woman.
She wasn’t just a person or a woman. She had seen me in a state of mind that was foreign even to me. She watched me cry and grieve over my sexuality being defamed by a bastard that couldn’t accept that I did not want an intimate relationship with him. She had seen me screen, yell, and withdraw into a cocoon in less than an hour’s time. I could only imagine what a normal day was to her. I hoped this was not normal for her because it was anything but normal for me. This was a nightmare.
I saw her bow her head down respectfully as she passed my parents and Jessica. She came to the side of my bed stopping a few feet back. Boundaries.
“How are you feeling? Pain lessen any,” she asked warmly.
“Yes thank you. I just wanted to thank you for getting me out of there before I killed that man.”
She smiled. “You are tough. I thought I was going to need help restraining you.”
I heard my dad laugh lightly and my mothers jaw dropped.
“What happened,” she started to ask but my father quieted her.
Jessica walked up then and thanked her as well, taking my hand.
“Your welcome. I know that what happened to you was horrible. I see you have a good support group and that is important.”
She reached in her shirt pocket and handed me a card.
“This is the officer who made the arrest. He is also my younger brother. He will make sure everything is done the right away. I’ll make sure of it.”
I smiled. For some reason, I trusted that she would.
She left, excusing herself politely. Before she entered the hallway, she looked back and smiled. I smiled back.
The next few days were a blur of police, lawyers, doctors, and concerned visitors. My body was still sore and aching all over but I was ready to go home. I vaguely remember Vaughn visiting. I had been in and out of sleep since they moved me into a private room. My Director had arranged for me to get a suite so I would be in a private but secure wing of the hospital. I was grateful. My tolerance level was nil. Jessica told me he showed up not too long after Sean left. My father wouldn’t allow him to stay long plus I was asleep and had no idea they were even there.
Jessica said he came back the next day around lunchtime but I couldn’t remember that either. She said he was sick with all this and was blaming himself. He hadn’t been back yet. She had promised to call him when I awakened and was alert enough to have a guest.
My parents had been there everyday in shifts. My dad had been weaker than normal and my mother was concerned about him. She had been taking care of him for so long.
“Before I forget Toni, I talked to your sister and told her what happened. She asked if their was anything she could do and I told her we would call her soon.”
I hadn’t talked to my sister in almost two years. The last fight had been it for me. Her jealous acting ways had made me dislike her. I was okay with my mother telling her what happened to me but I wasn’t ready to talk to her about it either.