tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72466909853884623812023-08-16T22:04:18.733-07:00Preview the book I'm writingSunshine Writerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12102456383882660164noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7246690985388462381.post-70143644955601079792010-06-16T18:18:00.001-07:002010-06-16T18:18:44.457-07:00Crime Scene (81)<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 10" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 10" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">I went and took a shower to calm my nerves. I was in the bath dozing off when I heard a knock on the door. I wasn’t expecting anyone and had no clue that would come over unannounced. I looked out the peephole and didn’t see anyone. Maybe it wasn’t my door. I was about to walk away when the knocking came again. That was definitely my door. I looked out the peephole right into the face of a woman. I didn’t recognize…wait! She was the woman outside that morning in the black car. I recognized her profile. She was dark skin, slim, and she wasn’t someone I knew. She knocked again. I cracked the door slightly.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yes, can I help you?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She pushed in the door with so much force I stumbled back on the floor. My robe flew open and I was totally exposed to this stranger. I quickly grabbed the tie to my robe and tied it closed. I don’t think she even noticed. She was angry about something but I didn’t even know who the heck she was.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I’m sorry but who are you,” I said defensively.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“You got a lot of nerve bitch! Who the hell do you think you are?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Excuse me,” I said looking at her. This mad woman was in my house calling me a bitch!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“You don’t remember me?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“No, I don’t even know you,” I said crossing my arms.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“You don’t remember my voice on the phone?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Wait. This is who called me that night from the telephone booth?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Who are you and what do you want,” I said looking at the phone. I had made sure that my phone was in view at all times now. I also had my eye on the knife sitting on my kitchen counter.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She charged towards me and grabbed me by the throat.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I’m going to kill you, you fucking bitch! You got my brother locked up in jail and now some muthafuckas done raped him!”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I tried to grab her hands around my throat but she flung me to the ground and jumped on top of me as I reached for the vase sitting on the floor. I was not going to let another person hurt me in my own damn home. I punched her in her face and she winced back. I hadn’t hit her hard but enough for her to take her hands from around my throat. I scrambled from up under her and reached for the knife on my counter just in time to duck before she hit me with my own umbrella! I put the knife in her face and she must have seen I was prepared to use it. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“You are going to pay for what you did to my brother you little cunt bitch!”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She lunged at me again and we both fell to the floor. I dropped the knife and she went to grab it. I kicked her in her ribs as hard as I could and I ran over to grab my cell phone. 911 was on speed dial. I hit the talk button and then I heard the operator ask “what is your emergency?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I couldn’t respond because this mad woman was jumping on my back. We fought back and forth kicking and punching while she screamed at me calling me every name in the sailor handbook. She was here to kill me. This was not just a warning.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">The operator was saying something but I couldn’t understand, then the sister grabbed the phone and hit me across the head with it. I laid back in pain grabbing my head. I felt light headed but I knew I had to get up. The phone was on the floor a few inches from my head, so I kicked her where it counts and grabbed the phone again this time running for the guest room where I kept my gun. My father had given it to me after my rape. I had put it there so it would be close but not too close like in my own bedroom. I grabbed it, slamming the door behind me. The police called back and asked me if I was okay.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“No I’m not okay! A woman is trying to kill me.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">They had my address and the police were on their way.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I could hear her screaming and I heard things being thrown around. She was trashing my home. She had lost it. I opened the door slightly to see where she was. She had to have been in the kitchen because that was the only room in the house not visible. She was probably looking for a butcher knife to kill me with. Then I saw her. She was running towards the door that I was behind. I cocked the gun. Closing the door, I barely locked it before she started stabbing the door violently with my best butcher knife! <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She yelled, “You are going to pay! You are going to pay!”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“What about what your brother did to me dammit? What about that?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I was pissed now. She was here to kill me but what about her sick ass brother?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I had enough. I opened the door and pointed the gun in her face.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“You better get out of here before I kill you like I should have killed your brother!”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She didn’t hear me because she came at me as if I had a teddy bear in my hand and I fired with no hesitation. She flung back against the hallway and fell to the floor. I had purposely pointed the gun down. She was shot in her leg. I hadn’t wanted to kill her but I would if I had to. The police came rushing in the door with their guns up. I put my arms up and dropped the gun. I saw Officer Moses first and then Anthony. Right after that I saw Sean. I ran to her and let her hold me tight. I didn’t want to move. I wanted to stay where I was. Safe and in her arms where I wanted to be that moment. She walked me into the kitchen while they lifted the psycho on the rollaway. As she went by I had to look at her. She looked at me and yelled, “bitch!” once again. I turned away.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Officer Moses came to talk to me but I was shaking. I was mad! I was more than mad! I was livid. I ran out into the hallway and stopped the ambulance officers.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I looked at her and told her what I should have said to her brother the last time I saw him.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“You will not get away with this. I promise.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">They took her away and she looked at me as if a light bulb had turned on in her twisted mind. They were going to take her to the hospital first before taking her to the women’s ward of the same jail her brother was in. Maybe they would have a reunion. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Sean cared for my wounds. I wouldn’t let them take me to the hospital. My lip was busted. I had a few cuts and bruises but I was okay.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“You really gave it to her, didn’t you,” Officer Moses said trying not to smile. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I did what I had to do.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I’m assuming that gun is registered?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yes it is,” I said smiling at him. “Of course it is.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Sean still had her arm around me as I told them everything that happened. They put a car on the house just in case but I doubted anything else would happen tonight. How many <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">more family members were waiting to kill me?<o:p></o:p></div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt;">We were going to court in three more weeks. I hoped I would make it there. Officer Moses and Anthony were the last ones to leave. My home was a crime scene yet again. </span>Sunshine Writerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12102456383882660164noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7246690985388462381.post-41802278904833749172010-05-13T09:34:00.001-07:002010-05-13T09:34:40.902-07:00News (78)<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 10" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 10" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">My phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number. Never knowing if it was a client, I always answered my phone.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Hello, this is Toni.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">It was Officer Terry, Steve’s partner.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Hello Miss Brown. I was calling to give you some news we just received from the jail.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I held my breath. Please Lord don’t tell me that man was not getting out of jail. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“There was an incident at the jail and Mr. Proctor was assaulted.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I smiled. Good for him.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Okay…”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“We thought you would want to know.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Thank you for letting me know. I know that’s not normal protocol. Wait, is he dead?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Now I don’t wish death on anyone but if the crime fits…<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Well no, but he wants to be.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“What do you mean by that?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“He was gang raped.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I looked at the phone and then asked, “Are you serious?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yes. He is in the ICU. Unfortunately child molesters and rapist tend to get the same treatment that got them locked up. They are in special units of the jail but when the doors are unlocked for a couple hours a day they sometimes become targets.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I couldn’t believe it. Some people would be happy about this but I wasn’t. No one deserved to be raped, especially gang raped not even my own rapist. He acted like such a manly man. He had to be suffering. Now he knew how it felt to be violated. That I was not sorry for.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Thank you for calling me. I appreciate it.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I put my cell back in my pocket and stared out the window for a few seconds.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Sean put her hand over mine.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Are you okay? You are shaking.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I hadn’t noticed.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yes that was your brother’s partner. Quentin was gang raped in jail.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She sat up releasing my hand. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Well good for him.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">That might be the normal response.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Really?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I’m sorry. Men who rape sometimes get off in the court system. But in the jail system, they never get off. Someone always proves a lesson to guys like that in jail. They are considered punks in jail and before they know it, that’s what they become. I’ve seen it over and over again.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I thought about it for a moment and shook my head. It was still horrible. If he got jail time, they would harass him the whole time he was serving his sentence. Well he wouldn’t be in there if he hadn’t raped me. I drank my whole glass of wine in one gulp and she laughed and asked the waiter to bring me another round. I wasn’t going to let anything ruin our date…day…<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I looked at Sean across the table as she bit into her sandwich. She looked up at me that instant and she stopped chewing.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“You like me don’t you?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Huh, what do you mean,” I replied feeling hot again in my neck and face.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Is it hot in here to you,” I asked not really wanting an answer.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">This time she put her sandwich down and laughed at me.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Enjoying you blush and blaming it on the heat? Yes I am.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I cleared my throat and reached for my water. She grabbed my hand instead. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I really like you but I also know this is new for you and that it’s not good timing. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"> I keep saying to myself this isn’t a date but right now it feels like it. I don’t want to lose your friendship. It’s important to me but I just want you to know that I am here for you and I want to see you through this.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I thought about my response and just decided to go with it.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I have no clue what is going on here with us but I like spending time with you. You have been there already when I really needed someone. I would like to go out on a date with you. I’ve actually wondered what that would be like,” I said looking away avoiding her eyes. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She turned my face around with one finger touching my cheek so that we were looking into each others eyes. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I would love to take you on a date when you’re ready.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Thanks. When I’m ready, you will be the first to know.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">We stared at each other for what seemed like forever. Neither one of us said anything. We just looked into each others souls looking for answers to questions not asked.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">When the spell finally broke, we finished our lunch and paid the waiter. We went Dutch again. I wouldn’t let her pay for my meal- yet. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">We walked to the car, holding hands as we ran across the street. I felt safe with her. That was a feeling I needed right now.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div>Sunshine Writerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12102456383882660164noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7246690985388462381.post-39754296083897974532010-04-24T16:17:00.001-07:002010-04-24T16:17:12.048-07:00Home Sweet Home<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 10" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 10" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><o:smarttagtype name="PlaceName" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="PlaceType" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="place" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">We stood in the kitchen exchanging information. I needed to know as much about Diego not only for Jessica and my god daughters but for Denise as well. He didn’t tell me anything I didn’t know already but he did confirm that the guy I feared was dead was indeed dead but that Diego wasn’t the main suspect. He had several enemies and a couple were more attractive for the hit than Diego. That didn’t mean that Diego didn’t do it.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">My father announced that he was tired and my mom got up immediately to grab their things. My dad was a soldier but he knew his limits. He had survived colon and prostate cancer but of course with all other health issues, more issues came along. They said their goodbyes and that left Steve, Sean, Jessica, and Diego. Fun times.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Jessica and Diego were sitting on the couch. Steve was sitting in my chair, and Sean was sitting on the floor. I refreshed drinks but instead of soda, I gave the guys beer and the ladies wine. I was enjoying my little dinner party not only because of the Diego and Steve saga but because Sean was there catering to everyone as if she lived there, which eased up my work and Jessica was there having a good time. She didn’t get out much. Never did. She was a homebody. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I turned on some neo soul and we had conversations among ourselves. The only ones who weren’t speaking to each other were Steve and Diego. Was I the only one who noticed that? Jessica and Sean were talking about her girls. Steve and I were talking about the music I was playing. It was an up and coming artist, Ledisi. My father had bought her CD along with a few others when I bought my house. Diego joined in the conversation about Jessica’s girls. They laughed together about something the girls had done over the weekend. I was the godmother to Jessica’s girls but I hadn’t spent time with them since a week before my…accident. I missed them. I felt a little jealous that Diego was sharing in their lives. He seemed to be really animated when he talked about them. That thought made me nervous. He wasn’t even taking care of his own daughter really. Who was he to be spending time with my god daughters? <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Diego, have you talked to Denise?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Jessica looked at me and her face turned red.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yes I talked to her this morning a minute.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“She seems to be enjoying the home she is in. I’m sure her and Tammy would get along great since they are about the same age.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Uh yea, they probably would,” he said looking at Jessica.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“She has a birthday coming up. Are you doing anything for her?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Actually, we were talking about having a birthday party for her,” Jessica interrupted.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Oh really? Is it a surprise? She didn’t mention it,” I asked looking at Diego.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yea it’s a surprise.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">He tapped Jessica on her shoulder.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“You ready to go,” he asked standing over her.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yea, okay,” she said looking at me. I knew I was going to hear about it later but I didn’t care.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I got up and let my guests out and gave Jessica a hug.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Take care. Call me tomorrow, ok?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yea okay,” she said. I knew she would call me first thing.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Steve started laughing after I closed the door.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“You’re funny,” he said popping another beer.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I laughed and then we both laughed like we were watching Kat Williams!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Sean looked at us confused.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Care to share,” she asked looking from me to Steve. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">We laughed again.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She got up and took Jessica and Diego’s glasses in the kitchen.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Do you know who Diego is,” I asked her.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yea, he is a local dealer.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Well that’s the joke basically. The drug dealer, cop, and social worker under one roof.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She laughed too. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yea and the paramedic!”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">We all laughed.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Steve excused himself twenty minutes later and it was Sean and I alone again.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">We cleaned up the kitchen and I heard scratching noises at the window. I ran over to the window to let Sammy in. Fat cat jumped down to the floor and meowed. Milk time! We couldn’t do anything but laugh as he sat down and waited nicely for me to pour him some milk. Spoiled rotten.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">We sat down and listened to some jazz this time and drank a bottle of wine. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I guess I should be leaving. It’s late,” she said yawning.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Do you work tomorrow,” I asked. “I’m off for a week.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“No, I’m off for the weekend,” she said yawning again.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“How far away do you live?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Well I guess I’ll drop Sammy off and stay at my moms. I live in <st1:place><st1:placename>South</st1:placename> <st1:placetype>Park</st1:placetype></st1:place>.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Oh nice. Paramedics make good money huh?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yea right. I got a hook up kinda.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Oh really. Old girlfriend,” I teased.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Actually my parents owned it. My mom can’t stay in both places and my brother likes apartment life, so that left me or sell it.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Good deal.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yea it’s a nice spot. Little house but big enough for little old me.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I laughed.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Well you could stay here if you want. I wouldn’t mind the company.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She sat up straight.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Really? I would like that!”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She grabbed her cell out her pocket.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Dammit, I forgot to charge my phone. It’s dead.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“You can use mine.” I handed her the cordless.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I leaned back as she checked on her mom and promised to bring Sammy by in the morning.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“He’s okay mom. We might have to lock that cat door at night so our little guy doesn’t get really lost.” <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">They spoke for a few moments and then she hung up the phone smiling.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“She okay?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yea my brother is there.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Oh that’s good. You guys really take care of your mom. That’s nice to see these days.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“He’s a momma’s boy still,” she joked. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Then she has two momma’s boys,” I teased.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She laughed so hard tears came to her eyes. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">We talked about her brother a bit and how they both decided to go in their respective careers. Their father, though a decent provider, had never really had a “job.” He hustled all his life. In and out of jail on small charges. Bought home from drunken binges. They loved their father but they both vowed never to be like him. They had their mind set on “careers” since they were in elementary school and that was it. They had careers they both loved. Now they tended to their mother and made sure that she was stable. One thing their father had done right was invest in life insurance. Mom was set. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Sean started falling asleep and I didn’t want to interrupt her. I grabbed a blanket out of the hall closet and draped it over her. I watched her for a few moments as she slept peacefully. I felt safe with her there. For the first time, I slept in my own bed since my…accident.<o:p></o:p></div>Sunshine Writerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12102456383882660164noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7246690985388462381.post-49410864937451902982010-04-05T17:50:00.000-07:002010-04-05T17:50:27.309-07:00Awkward<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 10" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 10" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><o:smarttagtype name="time" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">Stephanie and I left the house about <st1:time hour="12" minute="45">12:45</st1:time> and I could tell she was nervous. From what I could tell from her file, she hadn’t seen him since they had been picked up at his cousin’s house where they had been found. We arrived at the mall a few minutes after one and headed straight to the food court. Since the court was so big, we agreed to meet in front of the Showmars. I saw Denise approaching and Stephanie must have saw Scott because she ran towards a good looking boy that was pointing at her. Young love. I let her be. I already told her not to go outside the food court without telling me. I kept an eye on her while looking for Sean. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I saw Sean approaching from the street entrance. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a black button down shirt. Her hair was back in a ponytail and she had earrings on that I hadn’t noticed before. She walked up to me and gave me a hug I hadn’t expected. I felt my face get warm.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Denise was watching and smiling.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Hi Sean, this is Denise,” I said putting my hand on Denise’s shoulder.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Hi, how are you young lady?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I’m good,” she said smiling at me still.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Why was she looking at me like that?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">We sat down at a table and we all looked from one to the other.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Well this is fun,” Denise commented.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I’m waiting for you,” Sean said. “What’s going on?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I decided before I got there to let Sean handle this one. I still didn’t know how to handle all that was going on between her and I. I knew something was there but I didn’t know what exactly. I sat back and listened.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">They talked about a girl that Denise had met and thought was really “hot.” Sean and her laughed and talked like old buddies. Sean asked her if she ever had a boyfriend. Denise had told her once but that she was only with him because a girl she didn’t like wanted him. Soon as the girl wasn’t interested anymore, she dumped him. They laughed at that. I had to too. I had done that before myself in high school.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">They were having a good conversation while I was keeping an eye on Stephanie. I saw them start to walk over to us. I didn’t want to breach Denise’s trust by allowing Stephanie to walk in on their conversation so I met them halfway. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“This is Scott,” Stephanie introduced proudly.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Hi Scott. I’m Toni.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Hi,” he said looking kind of nervous.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“What’s going on,” I asked the two lovebirds.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Nothing, just wanted you to meet him,” she said still beaming.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Well thank you. Its nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you,” I complimented looking at Stephanie blushing.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">He nodded his head and smiled shyly at Stephanie.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Can we walk to the Gap over there,” she pointed to the store on the other side of the escalators.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Sure but come right back. We will be leaving soon.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Okay thanks.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">The two of them rushed off holding hands. Young love was so beautiful. But I’ve seen it get really harmful too. I definitely was going to keep a close eye on Scott.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Denise and Sean were still talking, having a good time. I listened as Sean told her about her first boyfriend and how she knew right then she was gay. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“He was the best looking dude in the school and I still couldn’t get with him.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Denise laughed hysterically.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I feel you!”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">The girl Denise was talking about was a girl from her cosmetology class. She was white and Denise and the girl had started off being working partners in class. The girl had a car so she drove Denise home some time and she really liked her. She told Sean that the girl kissed her yesterday and it was the best kiss she ever had, which wasn’t a lot but still the best.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Sean listened, focused. I was really admiring the way she was handling Denise. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I saw Stephanie and Scott heading towards our table again. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Um, Denise. One of my other clients is here visiting with her friend.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Oh, okay,” she said turning around in the direction I was looking.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I know her,” Denise said standing up. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Oh my god! How are you,” Stephanie squealed. The two girls hugged.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">As I listened to them squealing and catching up in thirty seconds, I figured out that they knew each other from middle school. They had been good friends once but lost contact after they went to different high schools. What a small world, they both said laughing.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">We all sat down at the table and Sean and I went to grab drinks leaving the kids at the table.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Thank you so much for coming to meet Denise. The two of you are really hitting it off.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yea, she is a cool kid. Reminds me of myself at her age,” she smiled proudly.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“That is a good thing for her because you turned out okay,” I said smiling at her. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I really did think she was a great person. Her personality was contagious and everyone seemed to like her so far. I wondered for a split second what my parents would think of her.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Thank you Toni. That means a lot to me.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She was looking at me so intently, I wasn’t sure whether to continue walking or stop in my place.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She sat the drinks down she was holding on the table closest to us.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Can I ask you something?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I replied slowly, “Of course…”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I know you are going through a lot right now but I'm attracted to you.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I didn’t know what to say so I kept quiet.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I just want to be there for you when and if you need someone to talk to or hang out with. Is that okay with you?’<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“That’s easy. I think I can do that.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I sat my drink down and gave her a nice tight hug. I wanted her to know that I was okay with how she felt and I didn’t want our growing friendship to be awkward. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">On the way back to my place, the placement coordinator called me and said they had a bed at a girl’s home near Stephanie’s school. They could take her immediately. I explained to Stephanie what was going on and she got upset very quickly. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I can’t keep going to different homes. Why can’t I go to Stacey’s?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I hadn’t thought about that. Stacey was the woman who cared for her originally. She had been sick but she was still licensed. I called her privately to talk to her. She was more than happy to have Stephanie. When I told Stephanie, she started crying and hugged me. We went to my house to gather her things and then I dropped her off at Stacey’s and left a message with the placement coordinator of her whereabouts. I had to go back in the morning to take her to court. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I drove back home and settled in, cuddled on the couch with a bag of popcorn. I wanted to call Jessica but I wasn’t ready. I promised myself I would call her tomorrow. I thought about the day I had with Denise, Stephanie, and Sean. I had really enjoyed myself and thought again about the possibility of having kids myself. It wasn’t totally out of the picture. I could adopt if I didn’t get married before I turned 40. I was still young and I felt that I could be a good mother. I was already getting plenty of practice with my clients. I had faith, though, that my child would not ever have to endure the pain that my clients had.<o:p></o:p></div>Sunshine Writerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12102456383882660164noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7246690985388462381.post-90944409782178730172010-03-29T09:21:00.001-07:002010-03-29T09:21:38.142-07:00Introducing Stephanie<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 10" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 10" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><o:smarttagtype name="time" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">Monday morning came sooner than usual for me. I didn’t like getting new clients because that meant the child had suffered some kind of trauma in their lives. However, I wouldn’t have chosen this career to not get any work. I was hear to help my clients. So I arrived at the office early to read over the client file. Stephanie. Age 17. Lost her virginity to rape at 12 by two neighborhood boys. She was also abused physically by her father. The father was in counseling. Her rapist disappeared after her parents confronted the boy’s parents. The last incident with her father was the most recent. This was going to be a difficult one. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I read through all the notes. Stephanie’s mother didn’t leave the father after the details of the abuse came out. Stephanie had been seeing a boy older than her and he was in the house when the father got home. Stephanie told the police that she hadn’t had sex with the boy “yet” and her father came in and ran the guy outside. The father went back in her room while she was half dressed and made her take her clothes off. He told her to lay down on the bed and he touched her breast. He then asked her what she was going to do with a boy that size and then put his fingers between her legs touching her private part. He then said to her, “you don’t even have a smell yet.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I wasn’t quite sure what that meant but that’s what Stephanie had in her report. He then made her lay back down and he took his penis out and put it on her. Then he put the head of his penis on her private part. When she started asking why he was doing that to her and crying he stopped, pulled up his pants, and left her in the room humiliated and confused. This happened when she was 14. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">The last incident by her father happened as a result of what Stephanie reported as a lie spread by someone in school she didn’t like. The girl she didn’t like had written her phone number on the boy’s bathroom wall. She wasn’t allowed to have boys calling her at home. Boys started calling her house phone asking for her and every time they did, her parents would get mad at her. She tried to explain to them what happened in school but they didn’t believe her. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Coincidentally, a boy she did know, who was her boyfriend at the time, called the house, knowing he shouldn’t have, but his sister had been hit by a car and he was calling to tell her. Her father answered the phone at the same time she did. The boy told her the story as the father was coming up the steps. Her father grabbed the phone from her, hung it up, and called her a liar. She tried to explain to him that the boy’s sister had been hit by a car but the father didn’t listen. He called her a liar again and smacked her. Then he started hitting her like she was a man, punching her and finally kicking her. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">The police report said that she had a black eye and her lip was busted. She also had bruises on her ribs assuming from the kicks. She had run out the house after the assault and went to work not knowing what to do and definitely not knowing that her eye had started bruising. By the time she got there, she had a black eye. She knew her lip was busted because she had been holding a towel to it the whole time she had been driving to work. She could explain that, or so she thought, but she wasn’t able to explain herself out of the black eye. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">One of the waitresses at her job, whom she didn’t really know, made her sit down at a corner table and tried to comfort her. She had been shaking and every time someone asked her who did this to her, she wouldn’t say. The manager started going down a list of people that he knew. Her mother. Father. Boyfriend. Best friend. Every time he would say someone she would shake her head no except when they got to her father. They asked in the same rotation about three times before they had their answer. No shaking of the head on the father. They knew it had to be him. The waitress who had made her sit down, Stacie, offered to take her home with her. Not knowing what else to do and afraid to go home, Stephanie complied. Stacie took her home with her and called the police. The police arrested her father that night and Stacie went to court with the caseworker to get temporary custody of her. Over the next few months Stacie got sick and was unable to care for her. She had been with Stacie for nine months before coming to us. She had been placed in foster care but ran away with the boyfriend she got the call from that horrible day. When the police found her they brought her to us. Over the weekend she had been in a foster home with someone she knew from school. Now it was time for us to help her deal with what had happened to her. Her first caseworker had gone on leave and now she was assigned to me.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">It was <st1:time hour="8" minute="55">8:55 am</st1:time>. She would be here any minute.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I got up from my desk and asked Nicole to bring in some orange juice and donuts. I wasn’t going to take the girl through the routine of asking her to tell me what happened. I had it all in front of me. She was due to go to court for her father the next day and I just wanted to see what mental state she was in. I would ask for a continuance if I had to. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I saw Ms. Myles, the foster attendant walking with a tall, light-skinned, slim female. She had long brown hair past her shoulders and she looked tired and worn out.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Ms. Myles introduced us and then left quickly.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Hi Stephanie.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Hi,” she said looking around my office.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Would you like some O.J and donuts?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She looked at the table and took one of the jelly donuts. She chose the strawberry one. My favorite too.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I waited as she took a bite.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“How are you doing at the new home?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She gave me this sarcastic look as if I should know. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Are you getting along with everyone?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She shrugged her shoulders, taking another bite of her donut. She looked past me and focused in on something. I didn’t want to seem intrusive so I didn’t turn around to see what had her attention. I just waited. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She stood up and walked over to my book case. She was looking at my pictures. I had random pictures of landscapes I had taken. My past time was photography. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“You don’t have personal pictures in here,” she observed.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“No, I don’t.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“So you aren’t married? No kids? No family?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I do have family but no I am not married and I don’t have kids.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Hmm..,” I heard her say.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I was being interviewed.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Do you know why I am here,” she asked still with her back turned pretending she was still looking at the photos.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yes I do.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Why?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">This time she turned around to face me and crossed her arms. You could tell she was more angry than anything.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Your father abused you physically and mentally. You were also raped a couple of years ago. You ran away from your last foster home. Your parents are trying to petition the court to get you back. Meanwhile, you are in a new foster home.” <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I made a point of stating all the facts. I could tell she didn’t like sugar coating.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She looked out the window at something far off. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“How are you doing with your rape?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Ouch. That hurt. But I didn’t feel as if she was attacking me. I believe she was looking for something in common.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I am taking it one day at a time,” I said slowly trying not to seem uncomfortable with the tables being turned.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Is he in jail?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yes he is,” I said praying silently that he stayed there. I don’t know what I would do if he was released from jail and I lived to see it.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“That’s good,” she said coming over and sitting down in front of me. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She poured herself a cup of orange juice. Then she poured me some. Time for business. The tables turned again.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I don’t like the place I’m at now. Its cool as far as the actual home but there is a boy there that gets on my nerves and I try not to be around him and the so-called foster parents are a trip!”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Why is that? How does this boy get on your nerves?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“He keeps invading my space and touching me.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Not good. She didn’t need anymore unwanted sexual behavior towards her.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“In what way does he touch you? Is he the son of Ms. Tiller?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“No he is another foster child.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I made a note to find out more about the kids in that home.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“How is he touching you?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“My leg. He keeps rubbing it and sometimes before I smack him he tries to put his hand near my crotch! I feel like I am saying No on repeat!”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She was angry and had every right to be. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I will look into this today, ok?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She looked at me searching for signs to trust me or not. I didn’t want her to notice how irritated I was right now. Why would they put her in a home with a boy anyway after what she has been through? Were their no other homes available the night they found her. I was going to find out ASAP.<o:p></o:p></div>Sunshine Writerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12102456383882660164noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7246690985388462381.post-65683436250805669092010-03-25T07:41:00.001-07:002010-03-25T07:41:33.621-07:00Served<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 10" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 10" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><o:smarttagtype name="State" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="place" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">I unlocked my apartment door and for some reason I looked inside first. I didn’t see anything unusual. I guess I was still spooked about the calls the other day. After talking to Officer Moses, I decided to go home instead of back to my parent house. No one out of the ordinary had used the telephone booth after I received the last call so the Officer Moses thought it was just a prank caller. I hoped so. I took my clothes off and put on my pajamas. I would take a shower later. I just wanted to sit down. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I turned the television on and let the television watch me as I thought about Jessica and Diego. Diego was definitely a nice looking man. I’m sure he was taking care of her financially. That’s the kind of man he was. He could definitely afford it. I wonder how they met? Car dealer! Ha!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Jessica’s heart was fragile. She had been hurt way too many times. Now that she knew the risks, her heart would be even more vested. That’s the way her heart worked. It didn’t listen to instincts. It only listened to the conscious that kept whispering in her ear to do it no matter what your instincts say. Like the devil and the angel in the movies that sit on each shoulder. The angel tried to sympathize and help you make the right safe decision. Then you had the devil, contradicting everything the angel said and made you see the benefits in taking risks and possibly heartache just for a few moments of short-term pleasure and satisfaction. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">My thoughts were interrupted by a scratching sound and smiled. Walking over to the window, I opened the curtains to see my friend, fat cat. This time he had a tag on him. I looked at the tag- Sammy. His name was Sammy. It fit him perfectly. I opened the window to greet my little friend.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">He must have went missing enough times for his owner to put a tag on him. He lived down the block. Not too far away. At least I knew now where he was from. Fat cat went to the kitchen again in search of milk. I had left his bowl on the floor and I poured fresh milk in it. He drank like a kid in a candy store. I leaned against the counter and laughed. Maybe I should get a cat of my own. I had always had pets in my home until my father got sick of them and then I would come home and the cat or dog or hamster would be gone. I promised after the last cat that disappeared never to get another cat while I was living with my father. That’s another story.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Maybe it was time to get me one. A cat was always good company.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Sammy walked from one room to another as if he was scoping the place out. I hope he didn’t have to go to the bathroom because my place was not a kitty litter. I followed him around peeking where he peeked. I felt like a little kid. He must have liked my bed because he jumped on it, walked around in circles, stretched out his fat legs and plumped down. I couldn’t help but laugh. I actually laughed hysterically as he looked at me wondering what was so damn funny. I just hoped he didn’t have fleas but I could tell he was taken care of pretty well. Thinking it harmless I let him cat nap while I checked my mail. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">An envelope from the District Court was there and I opened it nervously. I took the envelope to the bed where Sammy was napping and sat down. The first time since my ra…<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I rubbed Sammy as he purred. Glad you’re here fella, I thought.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I opened the letter and saw the State of <st1:state><st1:place>North Carolina</st1:place></st1:state> against Quentin Proctor. The preliminary hearing was in three weeks. Great! I should have been happy that I was going to see that bastard in court and in handcuffs but part of me felt sick to my stomach. I called my father and told him and he told my mother. They promised me that they would be there to support me, if not kill him. I started to call Jessica but decided against it, for now. Sammy was looking up at me. He had the cutest face I had ever seen on a cat. He looked like he was a Persian. His hair was a silverfish gray. He was freshly combed and his nails were recently clipped. Someone really loved him. I should probably send him home before his parents started looking for him. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I put my sneakers on not bothering to change my clothes and grabbed my coat and Sammy. He purred and laid down in my arms as we took our short walk around the corner. I wish I didn’t have to take him back but I knew I would want him back if I owned him. I had a feeling I would see him again soon.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I knocked on the door and waited. No answer. I knocked again. I heard footsteps. An older woman with bright green eyes answered the door. She had a lively smile. It was even brighter when she saw Sammy. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Sammy jumped from my arms and she bent down and picked him up. I smiled. Happy reunions.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Thank you so much. Sammy likes to explore. I just put a tag on him this morning.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Well he has visited me a couple times. I wanted to bring him back before you missed him.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She smiled a warming smile.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Thank you so much. My kids are grown and he is my company in between visits.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“You are welcome. I’ll be going now.”<br />
”Oh please come in for a moment. Would you like some tea,” she asked walking towards the back of the house. For some reason I decided to follow. There were pictures on the wall of her and a man. I figured the man was her husband. Handsome guy. He looked familiar. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“My husband passed away two years ago,” she said reading my thoughts.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Do you like herbal, green, or regular tea?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Green tea is fine.” <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I sat down at the table. The kitchen was huge with an island in the front. I had always liked that feature. As I looked around, Sammy jumped in my lap. I rubbed him and he resumed his purring routine.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She brought me over a hot glass of tea and sat down across from me.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Thank you again for bringing him home,” she said looking down at Sammy.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“He is such a sweet cat,” I praised.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">We sat and talked for what seemed an hour. I got up to leave and she asked me my name. We had been talking this long and we hadn’t even introduced ourselves. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I apologized and told her my name.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Toni. That fits you. My name is Regina Moses.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I looked at her. I was full of coincidences today. It couldn’t be.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Do you have twins?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Her face lit up. “Yes I do! How did you know that?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I laughed. Well I’ll be damned. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I know your son and daughter I believe.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Oh wonderful! Sean and Steve are actually on their way!”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">As she said it, I heard the front door open. I whirled around and saw Sean heading my way. Well I’ll be doubled damn.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Sean stopped in her tracks when she saw me. I suddenly felt conscious standing in her mother’s kitchen in my pajamas. I had even forgotten that I had them on. I felt like an idiot.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">A smile started forming on Sean’s face as she approached. I just looked at her.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“What are you doing here?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I put my head down. “I brought Sammy home. I had no idea…”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Wow that tag actually was a good idea,” she said looking around to her mother. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Her mother clapped her hands.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“It sure was! Where is Steve?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“He is grabbing the groceries. Care to stay for dinner Toni,” she asked me.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Oh I couldn’t. I’m uh…” <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Looking down at my slippers. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“In my pajamas.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Sean looked down at my slippers and laughed.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Sammy was that much trouble?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I blushed. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I figured someone was missing him. He has visited me a couple times actually.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Good Sammy,” she said patting fat cats head. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I was really feeling awkward now. “I’ll go. Have a nice dinner.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I moved so fast that I almost knocked Steve down.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Whoa,” he said stumbling back.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I didn’t even stop to apologize.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Sunshine Writerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12102456383882660164noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7246690985388462381.post-72138130184709110322010-03-18T07:11:00.000-07:002010-03-18T07:11:22.676-07:00Questions about Sean<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 10" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 10" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">Quentin wasn’t going to get away with what he did to me like a lot of rapist do because of technicalities. I had to think positive. He was sinking his own ship and that was going to work in the publics favor including mine. He would never be able to hurt another woman. I was going to see to it.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Officer Moses and Terry were doing there job and doing it well. Another thing on my side is that they caught him in the act, per say, so that helped my case even more.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“He isn’t going to walk,” they assured me.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Thank you.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">They excused themselves and left the precinct. Now what? Just as I was about to leave, I walked right into Sean literally.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Hi,” she said grabbing me so I didn’t fall.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Oh, hi.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She released my arms and I stepped back. She had her hair out of the usual ponytail and was wearing her uniform. She looked very attractive as always.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“One of the officers had a heart attack but the other van took him to the hospital.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Oh okay.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I’m about to get off.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Okay.” <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I didn’t know what to say. Why did I feel so awkward around this woman? Maybe because she had seen me in my most vulnerable state. Maybe because she was so nice to me. Maybe because she showed genuine interest after the… Maybe crap! I had no clue why I felt so damn nervous.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I was going to call you later and check on you. Is everything okay?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yes, I came down here to get an update on the letter that was sent.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Oh right. Was it taken care of,” she asked concerned again.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yes, they did. He can’t write anyone now.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">That’s good she said folding her arms. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“And how has your morning been?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Fine. I took a client to breakfast.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I started to relax. She was very easy to talk to.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I was about to get something to eat across the street. Want to join me? Do you have something to do? You have time?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I um…I was just going to go home…nothing else to do. I just ate though so maybe some other time,” I said shrugging my shoulders.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Okay that’s cool.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I turned around to leave. I really didn’t know what I was going to do I just knew that I needed to get out that police station but wasn’t quite sure I wanted to go home either. I could feel her watching me.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I turned around and caught her smiling. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Sure I’ll join you. I could use another cup of coffee.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Okay great. Let me change my clothes. Ten minutes.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She rushed off down the stairs to where I assumed the lockers were. What else could be down there?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">The hospital was connected to the police station so maybe that was the paramedics’ area. Why was I thinking about that? I felt silly.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Exactly ten minutes later she saw Sean running up the stairs with blue jeans, a white tee shirt and fresh timberlands. She looked nice, in a boyish kinda way.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Ready?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yea of course.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I followed her to a diner across the street that had no name or at least I couldn’t read the name on the sign outside because it was so old.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She pulled out a seat for me and we sat down. I knew I was blushing because I never had a woman pull out my seat for me before. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I’m sorry. It’s a habit. I do it for my mother.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I laughed a little.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“It’s okay. I was just surprised.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">A young lady who obviously knew Sean took our orders cheesing in Sean’s face the whole time. I chose to ignore it but it was hard to when every time the girl came to the damn table she was breaking her jaw smiling. She almost threw my coffee in my lap paying attention to Sean so much. Wow! This was starting to become comical.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I see you have an admirer.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Sean laughed. “Admirer but not admired.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">We both laughed. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">We looked at each other for a moment before I broke the silence to sip my coffee.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“How was your morning? Did I ask that already?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I smiled putting my cup down that was half empty already.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yes you did but its okay. I had an interesting morning.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Oh really? What made it interesting?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“My client, Denise, told me today that she thinks she’s gay. She is only fifteen!”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Sean laughed. “Well kids these days seem to know much quicker than the adults these days.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I smiled.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I guess…,” not fully convinced.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“And what was your response,” she asked giving me her full attention.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I let her talk. I didn’t say much. She said that boys were horrible and pointed out what happened to me.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I simply told her that all boys weren’t horrible,” I laughed nervously. I wasn’t sure how this conversation was going. I wasn’t fully sure what her sexuality was though the waitress gave me a serious clue.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Well that is true. Not all boys are horrible,” she said sitting up straight. “So I guess that wasn’t a bad answer.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I hope not cause I had no idea really what to say.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Well if you ever need help talking to her about it, let me know. I am a counselor at the youth center and I head the LGBT group.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“The what?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She laughed, visibly amused.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“The group that deals with teens who are gay, bisexual or still trying to figure it out.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Oh,” now I knew or did I.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“So um, are you…uh…one of those?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She laughed again leaning into to whisper. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yes I am a lesbian.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Okay, how long? How did you know that you were?” <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I really wanted the answers to this question because I wanted to help Denise if she needed it. I also wanted to know why this beautiful woman decided not to be with men. She was attractive, smart, sexy, and successful. Any man would want her. Hell, I guess any woman that was gay would too!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Well I knew in high school for sure. I was a late bloomer when it came to being attracted to either sex. My family had a lot going on and I just didn’t have time to think about boys or even girls for my sake. Once I got into high school that changed. My parents had separated a few times but I guess it got old so we were a little more stable and I started socializing more and I never was attracted to boys. I thought they were immature. My mom said that was normal for a girl to think guys were immature and actually said she still thought they were but it was different for me. I just wasn’t interested. I finally found a guy I did like but only because we had a lot in common. He tried to kiss me and I let him. I got nothing out of it. That was my junior year. I was always attracted to my girlfriends though and one day my best friend asked me if she could kiss me. I let her and I liked it. I’ve been gay ever since!”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I laughed more out of shock then anything.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“What?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“So you have never been with a man?!”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I tried it once in college but didn’t really get anything out of it but losing my virginity.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I put my chin in my hands and looked at her. I wandered what it was like to be with a woman but quickly dismissed it. Sex was the last thing on my agenda right now.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“You’re quiet. Are you okay? Too much information,” she laughed nervously.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“No, I just… I… I don’t know.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I honestly did not know what I was feeling.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“That’s normal,” she laughed again sitting back and observing me.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“So lets talk about you.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I sat up straight.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“What do you want to know?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Before all this happened were you gay,” she joked.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">That broke the ice. I laughed until my stomach hurt. I needed that.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Once I was able to talk, I patted her hand.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Nowhere close.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I walked Sean back to her car and she promised to call me later. I was actually looking forward to it. She was so easy to talk to and I trusted her. She wasn’t a man, which I didn’t want to be around right now besides my father and she wasn’t my family or Jessica treating me like a wounded bird.<o:p></o:p></div>Sunshine Writerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12102456383882660164noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7246690985388462381.post-20703006479806237202010-03-13T12:18:00.000-08:002010-03-13T12:18:46.906-08:00Silence Please...<div style="color: red;">I decided to venture from the book for a moment to share what I just wrote.</div><div style="color: red;"><br />
</div><div style="color: red;">Three Sixty </div><div style="color: red;"><br />
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</style> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I think about the last twenty-four hours and wonder why I did the things I did.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I wonder why I felt the need to completely hide myself from the world.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">In my world of life, I felt the need to cut off everyone including people who love me?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">Why? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">Haven’t I suffered enough?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">From the beginning until now I know I’ve made mistakes.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I know that I have hurt people.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I know that I have cheated.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I know that I have lived a double life.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I know that I have disrespected people.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I know that I have lied.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I know that I have purposely set out to destroy and won if only for one minute.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I know that I have used my body shamelessly.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I know that I have abused trust.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I know that I have forsaken the vows of marriage.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I know that I have abandoned all reasoning at times.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I know that I have broken laws.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I know that I have addictions I tried not to face.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I know that I have lost faith in God at times when I needed him the most.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I know that I have broken promises even if they are few.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I know that I have regrets about breaking the hearts of people who truly had my best interest at heart and loved me unconditionally.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I know I have not been the best daughter, sister, aunt, girlfriend, lover, employee, coworker, boss, godmother, companion, wife, mother, and Woman.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I also know that people are not perfect even the ones you want to be.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I have been abused by people who know better.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I have been neglected by people who were supposed to nurture me.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I have been hurt by people I thought were my friend.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I have been betrayed by people who I’ve loved and trusted.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I have been raped by men who could not control their lust and can’t take rejection.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I have been robbed by people who needed a new thrill.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I have been lied to my face without even a trace of guilt.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I have been lied on by hateful people who have nothing else to do but prove true that “Misery Enjoys Company.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I have been misunderstood by people who haven’t taken the time to get to know me.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I have been mistrusted by people who had my complete loyalty.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I have been infected by the sins of Adam and Eve.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I have been taken advantage of by people who don’t know the meaning of friendship, love, trust, and respect.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I have been the unfortunate associate to perverts, criminals, betrayers, rapists, pedophiles, family, husbands, partners, haters, and the list goes on to include the seasons that have come in and out of my life that make up Imperfect People.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I also have come to realize that I am not the only one who has shared my experiences.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I am not the only one who has been abused.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I am not the only one who has been raped.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I am not the only one who has been betrayed by a friend.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I am not the only one who has regrets.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I am not the only one who has been disappointed in the people in their lives and the world around us.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I am not the only one who has done some dirt.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I am not the only one who has been infected by sin.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I am not the only one who has taken delight in hurting people.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I am not the only one who has broken someone’s trust.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I am not the only one who has cheated on their partner.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I am not the only who has been divorced three times.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I am not the only one who has caused and been in the middle of drama.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I am not the only one who suffers from guilt.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I am not the only one who has lived in denial.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I am not the only who worries about failing as a mother even though you know you were born to be one.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I am not the only one who has denied the true affections of my heart.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I am not the only one who has cursed God at the most vulnerable time in their life.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I am not the only one who has been stabbed in the back, lied on, hurt, disrespected, manipulated, misinterpreted, taken advantage of, victimized, depressed, and went to bed hoping I wouldn’t wake up to have to go another round.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I have had enough.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">The times of being a victim to the madness is over.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I Am a Daughter, Sister, Friend, Lover, Companion, Entrepreneur, Aunt, Godmother, Patient, Writer, Mother, Woman, and Survivor.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I testify to not let anyone destroy the happiness I deserve.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">In return I promise to love, honor, cherish, respect, appreciate, understand, believe, have faith, be loyal, make amends, and most of all Forgive myself for my mistakes and the mistakes that other people have made concerning Me.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I pray that those who have hurt, abused, violated, victimized, lied, cheated, stole, threatened, harassed, mislead, misunderstood, betrayed, raped, and almost destroyed my inner peace- <i>intentionally</i>- learn from their ill intentions and Repent.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">God is a forgiving God. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">Who am I to judge anyone? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">Who are You to Judge me?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">Forgiveness is the key to Heaven.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I am who I am.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red; text-indent: 0.5in;">I love who I love.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: 0.5in;">Change is necessary.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red; text-indent: 0.5in;">I am Tiffany.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: red;">I am Me.</div><div style="color: red;"><br />
</div><div style="color: red;"><br />
</div><div style="color: red;"><br />
</div>Sunshine Writerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12102456383882660164noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7246690985388462381.post-21563563282057683492010-03-13T09:21:00.000-08:002010-03-13T09:21:05.875-08:00Introducing Denise<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 10" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 10" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">I needed to do something productive, so I called the office and asked them to send my caseload to my house. Brittany, my Director tried to talk me out of it, requesting that I take more time but I told her that the more time I took, the angrier I would become. She agreed to let my pending cases get delivered to me but that was it. That pending status included Denise. They had found her at her mothers as I expected them to. She had been missing her mother terribly and kept fighting at school anytime someone mentioned her mother’s recent news report. Her mother, Vivian Thompson, had robbed a liquor store a few blocks from there which was the latest mark on her record that kept Denise from being returned home. She had almost gotten away with it until her on again off again boyfriend got mad at her and told one of his in between girlfriends who ratted her out. She had gotten away with five thousand dollars and was facing felony charges. Denise was not going home anytime soon. Denise’s father, Diego Vargas, had gotten her out on bail. Denise’s father was a well known drug dealer. Poor Denise, she was screwed both ways. She would be my priority. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I got up from the couch and noticed that Jessica had cooked me breakfast. My body was still aching but the pain was less. I got up slowly and steadied myself. Jessica must have stepped out for a second. She wouldn’t have gone far without waking me to tell me. I went to the bathroom and stopped before entering. I looked around as if I was expecting someone. No one was there. I stepped in and looked in the mirror. I couldn’t believe how horrible I looked. Actually I could, because I always looked how I felt. Some people could pull of looking amazing while they are feeling terrible inside. I was not one of those people.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">My skin was pale. My hair was limp. My face had a few faint bruises on it. I took my mothers nightgown off and stood naked in front of the mirror. I could see the bruises on my body and a few scratches. I saw the needle marks on my forearm where the IVs had been placed. I turned the shower water on and waited as the room filled with steam. I wanted the water as hot as I could stand it. I wanted it all to wash away. I was fooling myself. I could never wash this feeling away. I scrubbed my skin until it was almost raw. I sat down on the shower floor and cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. I got out of the shower and just stood there folding my arms around me. I leaned against the wall and listened to the silence around me. I wondered when this dismal feeling would go away. I feared it never would. I knew it had to get better one day. I knew it wouldn’t be immediate then I thought of Denise. She might as well have had no one. I could be someone to her. I needed to reach out to someone who wasn’t looking at me as a victim.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I pulled myself together, wrapping my robe around me. I had air dried already so I went to the hall closet and grabbed my cell phone out my sweater. I hadn’t turned it on since… since I was raped. I was a rape victim. I shuttered at what was yet to come. Court, testimony, counseling, sentencing, healing…the list would go on. I thought of Denise again. I promised myself that I would accomplish something each day. I went back to the couch and opened Denise’s thick file. I started reading the police report that was placed when they took her from her mother again. Denise had put up a fight, biting one of the officers. Vivian had jumped on the other officers back. It had been a circus and the local news had caught it all on tape. Another embarrassing moment for Denise.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I dialed the youth detention center that they had taken Denise the night they found her. She wasn’t going back to foster care anytime soon. This last incident confirmed that. She would just run away again. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Hello Karen. This is Toni Brown. How are you?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I am fine Toni. How are you feeling?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">She never asked me that before but then again I hadn’t been a victim of a crime before this.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I am okay,” avoiding a long explanation. “I was calling to check on one of my clients, Denise Thompson.” <span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Oh yes. Denise is not doing so well. She heard about your attack and is very angry that no one would let her call you. She kept asking for your number and no one would give it to her.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I sighed. My phone had been off for over a week now and I hadn’t even checked my voicemail. If she had called she probably had left several messages. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Is she available for me to speak to her,” I asked already knowing the answer.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“You know she can’t have calls during her probation period.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I know but it is very important that she talks to someone and I would prefer that person to be me.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I heard Karen breathing. Then the phone was set down with a thump as if it had been dropped. A few minutes later I heard footsteps and then Denise’s voice.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Hello,” I heard Denise say impatiently.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Hi Denise, this is Toni.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Oh my god, Miss Brown! I’ve been so worried about you. Are you okay? How are you feeling? Is that dick in jail? I can get my daddy to kill him for you! Just say the word!”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I laughed because I knew she was serious. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“No Denise. He is locked up and he will not be getting out anytime soon. I am better. Taking it one day at a time. I heard that you were concerned about me. I was concerned about you and truthfully I missed your jokes.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I smiled at the memory of our last visit. I had picked her up from school and some boy kept trying to talk to her. She had talked about him all the way home- from his “whack ass Mohawk” to his “red busted up shoes.” I remember those days. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Denise was kind of a bully. She was always fighting boys at her school and the girls stayed out of her way unless they were in her click. She hung out with a lot of hard looking girls. At one point, I thought that maybe they were gay. I hadn’t asked though. That was the least of her problems.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We talked for a few moments longer before Karen interrupted us. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“The witch said I can’t talk to you no more. Can you come see me?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Denise, be respectful,” I encouraged. “I will come visit you as soon as I’m able.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Don’t forget what I said. My daddy is a block away!”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I laughed again. Denise, despite her tough demeanor and quick temper, had become my favorite client. I had her case off and on for four years and soon she would age out of the system. I was hoping I could help her get on the right road before then. So many kids age out of the system and you don’t hear anything but negative things about them. Very few actually make it, but it took good support systems to make that possible. Denise didn’t have a support system. I vowed to be that single force.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div>Sunshine Writerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12102456383882660164noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7246690985388462381.post-90377281092522205542010-03-05T09:09:00.000-08:002010-03-05T09:09:52.254-08:00Ch2- Vaughn<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 10" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 10" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">The day that I was being released, Vaughn came to pick me up. I thanked him for the lilies but in my mind I knew it was the worst attempt at an apology. Flowers died so did love. I donated them to the cancer wing of the hospital.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Jessica and I had discussed her picking me up but at the last minute Vaughn called and asked for the “honors” and even though I wasn’t ready to face him, I knew he had been waiting patiently to see me.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">He signed all the necessary paperwork for my release and then the officer assigned to my room wheeled me out to wait for Vaughn to drive up and get me.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">As Vaughn helped me in the car, I felt my stitches stretch. I had been told to stay on bed rest once I got home. That bastard had torn my skin at the entry to my anal area and I had to have five stitches. It was not a comfortable feeling having your ass stitched. Nothing about this whole ordeal was comfortable.</div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 10" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 10" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style>
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</style> </div><div class="MsoNormal">I had overheard Jessica and my mother talking about why Vaughn was the last one getting to the hospital. He had been out with another woman with his cell off. I wondered for a moment if it was the same woman he had canceled our dates for before. Or was this a new conquest for him? One of my clients had told me that they saw Vaughn in my car with a woman. I had questioned him about it, but of course he gave me some lame excuse that it was one of his clients. Vaughn was a tattoo artist and clothing designer. He was artistic and very good at what he did. He was one of the best. He was around women all the time. He was good looking and knew how to say the right things. He had gotten me, hadn’t he? Once I realized I was getting played, I was too embarrassed to just give up. I had invested a lot in us. He swore that whoever was telling me stuff was just hating and jealous. I didn’t keep people in my circle like that, but by the time he finished talking and romancing me, my head was so far in the clouds I never stayed mad long.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I wasn’t one to be made a fool of but so long. Once I heard more than once that he was cheating on me from different sources, I took my time dumping him because I was comfortable but I also took my time because I was going to let him see how much he hurt me. I didn’t need any evidence this time. I had it right before my eyes. He had canceled our date and was with another woman when I was raped. That was evidence enough for me. I knew deep down inside, he wasn’t to blame for my rape, but maybe it wouldn’t have happened that night and maybe I would have thought twice the next time. I was ready to end this charade.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“First I want to tell you that what happened to me was not your fault. Obviously Quentin had been watching me for some time. He was just waiting for an opportunity to approach me.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Officer Moses informed me before I left the hospital that Quentin had been staying at a hotel a block away not his normal spot, at his mothers. When they searched his room, he had photos of me alone, with Vaughn, Jessica, at work and even getting undressed. Their was an empty condo directly across from me that he had set up to watch me. Mental note was made to invest in curtains and an alarm. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I know that you were with another woman the night that I was attacked. Who was she?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">He put his hands in his pocket. Classic sign of guilt for him. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“It doesn’t matter. I can’t do this with you and I right now. I need time to myself to sort all this out, start healing, and get back to work.” <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I walked over to him and took his hand. I had to do this for closure. I wasn’t in love with him anymore. He had hurt me too many times. I had to let go right now. One less obstacle to conquer. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“Toni, I am so sorry. I love you and care for you. I want to help you through this if you let me.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I turned away from him. I couldn’t allow that. Not now anyway.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I’m sorry, but I cant accept your help. Where were you when it happened? Where were you when Jessica was trying to reach you? Where were you when I went into surgery? You didn’t care about me then. You are selfish! Always have been and I don’t want you here right now. I might not ever want you here again.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I went to my front door and opened it.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I need you to leave,” I said stepping away from the door so he could pass through it possibly for the last time.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"> He stopped close to me. I didn’t look into his eyes. I don’t want to see anymore.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">“I am sorry. Please call me if you need anything. I promise to be there when you call.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">He walked through the door as I shut it. I cried for what seemed forever until I heard a soft knocking.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">It was Jessica. I opened the door and fell into her petite frame. I cried until I had no more tears left and she rubbed my hair until I fell asleep on the couch. I remember waking up in the middle of the night as she put a cover over me, then I drifted off again to try to find some peace.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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Sunshine Writerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12102456383882660164noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7246690985388462381.post-47627367975025104822010-03-03T21:07:00.000-08:002010-03-03T21:14:21.238-08:00Hospital- Ch1 cont.<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 10"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 10"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman";} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">I awakened again to see my mother in the corner praying. My mother has always been a religious woman.<span style=""> </span>She wasn’t insane with it but she completely had faith in her God.<span style=""> </span>I wasn’t so convinced most times.<span style=""> </span>Right now I knew I needed prayer. I could hear the doctors talking to my father and Jessica. I couldn’t make out what they were saying.<span style=""> </span>I didn’t want to know. I knew what had happened to me. I felt the injuries.<span style=""> </span>They must have given me something for pain because the pain was dull but still there reaching out.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">My mother saw me looking at her and came to my side.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">My mother was shorter than me by a few inches with green beautiful eyes, fair skin, and naturally long curly hair.<span style=""> </span>Her eyes always revealed her emotions.<span style=""> </span>She looked at me, taking my hand and kissing them.<span style=""> </span>She didn’t say anything. For the first time, she didn’t say anything.<span style=""> </span>Tears came to her eyes and I looked away. Not now. Please don’t cry. I can’t cry anymore.<span style=""> </span>Anger started to rise in me and I spoke so loud everyone turned around to look at me, even the nurses in the hallway.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Where is he,” I yelled.<span style=""> </span>“Where is he?”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I tried to sit up as my mother tried to calm me. Jessica ran over to my left side and grabbed my free hand.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Toni honey. Please calm down. Lay down please. Please lay down,” she said softly pleading with me. I felt her hand on my hair and I flinched. I wanted to cut my hair off. He had used my hair to restrain me. I hated it.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">She pulled her hand away and took my face in her small hands.<span style=""> </span>She looked me in my eyes and told me she loved me.<span style=""> </span>She told me that he had been arrested and was being held until the mornings bail hearing. He wasn’t going anywhere. Charges were already piling up against him including sodomy, rape, attempted murder, assault on an officer, and the list went on.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I started to breathe slower, easier.<span style=""> </span>I laid back down.<span style=""> </span>My mother stepped towards me but hesitated.<span style=""> </span>I touched her arm and she came closer, hugging me. My father joined her, hugging me gently.<span style=""> </span>Jessica stepped back to compose herself. I saw her wipe a tear from her eye. She was trying to be strong between all this chaos.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Then I saw her.<span style=""> </span>The paramedic that helped me. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Sean,” I managed to yell. I heard her footsteps stop and then start again. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">She was standing in the doorway. My parents stepped back for her to approach me.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">She was a tad shorter than me, about five foot five.<span style=""> </span>She was slim but you could tell she worked out.<span style=""> </span>Her thick black hair was pulled tightly back in a ponytail.<span style=""> </span>Her eyes were soft but I could tell she had seen a lot.<span style=""> </span>Her skin was smooth and clear.<span style=""> </span>She took care of herself.<span style=""> </span>I appreciated that in a person especially a woman.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">She wasn’t just a person or a woman.<span style=""> </span>She had seen me in a state of mind that was foreign even to me.<span style=""> </span>She watched me cry and grieve over my sexuality being defamed by a bastard that couldn’t accept that I did not want an intimate relationship with him.<span style=""> </span>She had seen me screen, yell, and withdraw into a cocoon in less than an hour’s time.<span style=""> </span>I could only imagine what a normal day was to her.<span style=""> </span>I hoped this was not normal for her because it was anything but normal for me.<span style=""> </span>This was a nightmare.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I saw her bow her head down respectfully as she passed my parents and Jessica.<span style=""> </span>She came to the side of my bed stopping a few feet back.<span style=""> </span>Boundaries.<span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">“How are you feeling? Pain lessen any,” she asked warmly.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Yes thank you.<span style=""> </span>I just wanted to thank you for getting me out of there before I killed that man.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">She smiled.<span style=""> </span>“You are tough.<span style=""> </span>I thought I was going to need help restraining you.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I heard my dad laugh lightly and my mothers jaw dropped.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“What happened,” she started to ask but my father quieted her.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Jessica walked up then and thanked her as well, taking my hand.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Your welcome.<span style=""> </span>I know that what happened to you was horrible.<span style=""> </span>I see you have a good support group and that is important.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">She reached in her shirt pocket and handed me a card.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">“This is the officer who made the arrest.<span style=""> </span>He is also my younger brother.<span style=""> </span>He will make sure everything is done the right away. I’ll make sure of it.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I smiled. For some reason, I trusted that she would.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">She left, excusing herself politely. Before she entered the hallway, she looked back and smiled. I smiled back.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The next few days were a blur of police, lawyers, doctors, and concerned visitors. My body was still sore and aching all over but I was ready to go home. I vaguely remember Vaughn visiting. I had been in and out of sleep since they moved me into a private room.<span style=""> </span>My Director had arranged for me to get a suite so I would be in a private but secure wing of the hospital. I was grateful. My tolerance level was nil.<span style=""> </span>Jessica told me he showed up not too long after Sean left.<span style=""> </span>My father wouldn’t allow him to stay long plus I was asleep and had no idea they were even there.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Jessica said he came back the next day around lunchtime but I couldn’t remember that either. She said he was sick with all this and was blaming himself.<span style=""> </span>He hadn’t been back yet.<span style=""> </span>She had promised to call him when I awakened and was alert enough to have a guest.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">My parents had been there everyday in shifts.<span style=""> </span>My dad had been weaker than normal and my mother was concerned about him. She had been taking care of him for so long. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Before I forget Toni, I talked to your sister and told her what happened.<span style=""> </span>She asked if their was anything she could do and I told her we would call her soon.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I hadn’t talked to my sister in almost two years.<span style=""> </span>The last fight had been it for me.<span style=""> </span>Her jealous acting ways had made me dislike her.<span style=""> </span>I was okay with my mother telling her what happened to me but I wasn’t ready to talk to her about it either.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> Sunshine Writerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12102456383882660164noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7246690985388462381.post-85240360963130739672010-03-02T06:52:00.000-08:002010-03-02T06:54:32.338-08:00First Chapter of Reality Check<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 10"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 10"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman";} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">I slowly went around the corner to look for Quentin and he wasn’t on the stool anymore. I looked in the bathroom. He wasn’t there either. Then I saw a shadow in my bedroom. What was he doing now?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I went in my bedroom and he was looking out the window.<span style=""> </span>He was looking around. What was he looking for? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I grabbed my keys off the dresser.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">“I can take you home now,” I said turning to walk to the door.<span style=""> </span>I heard him rush up behind me, spinning me around.<span style=""> </span>He tried to kiss me and I slapped him.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“What the heck are you doing,” I yelled putting my hand in front of me to push him away.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Give me a kiss. That’s the least you could do for head butting me,” he smirked.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“I didn’t mean to do that and no, I am not kissing you.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I tried to turn and he put his arm around my waste. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Where are you going,” he asked pulling me close to him with some force.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I yelled at him. “What are you doing?”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“I’ve been wanting you for almost a year and you keep pushing me away. Am I not good enough for you or something?”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">No he wasn’t but I didn’t tell him that.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“I never said that. We both agreed to be friends, remember?”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“No, you said you wanted me to be friends only not me.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">That was true.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you wanted more.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“How could you not know? I made sure I visited you every time I was in town.” </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Which wasn’t often. I never thought anything of it. A friend visiting a friend, right? Wrong!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Please, it’s late. Let me to take you to wherever you’re staying.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“We aren’t going anywhere,” he said pushing me into the wall.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I tried to free my arm from his grasp but he was squeezing it tighter than before.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Quentin please don’t do this. This isn’t necessary. Let’s go out on a date and see what happens okay?”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Yea right but I was saying anything to get him out of my house.<span style=""> </span>I looked for my phone.<span style=""> </span>I never kept the damn cordless on the charger.<span style=""> </span>Ugh! I surveyed the room trying not to be so obvious.<span style=""> </span>He looked behind him to see what I was looking at. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">“What are you looking for? This?”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">He took the phone out of his back pocket.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I looked at him.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“I didn’t want us to be disturbed.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Do you want something to drink,” I asked trying to distract him. Make him let me go enough for me to run for the door.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“No, I’m fine.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">He tried kissing me again.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Look, Quentin. No. I don’t want this.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Training said to be direct and to the point. Say no repeatedly. Look your attacker in the eyes.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">He threw me down on the bed and stood over me holding me down with both hands. He tried kissing my neck and I screamed. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">He put his hand over my mouth.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Shut up,” he sneered. “You know you like it rough.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“No, I don’t!”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Oh yes you do. I saw you with your boyfriend last week. He pushed you against the wall and fucked you against the wall.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I felt faint. He had been watching me! Us!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I wanted to vomit.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“You remember that?”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Yes,” I said looking for my phone, scissors, anything.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“We were playing,” I said. Keep him talking.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“No you weren’t.<span style=""> </span>You liked it.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">He tore my shirt open and tried to kiss my neck again.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Stop it! Stop it now,” I screamed.<span style=""> </span>I tried kicking him but he parted my legs so quickly with his, I gasped from the pain.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“You’re hurting me,” I yelled trying to struggle from under his weight.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Stop fighting me,” he said laughing at me.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Let me go! Please let me go…”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I didn’t want to cry. I couldn’t show him I was terrified.<span style=""> </span>That might be turning him on.<span style=""> </span>I didn’t want to turn him on anymore than he already was. I felt him hard against my leg. I felt like vomiting again but I knew I had to be strong.<span style=""> </span>I couldn’t show him my fear.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I managed to free my leg and kick him as hard as I could.<span style=""> </span>He bent over in pain long enough for me to get from up under him. I ran into the hallway and he caught me by the leg.<span style=""> </span>I fell hitting my head on the floor.<span style=""> </span>Dazed I tried to crawl forward but he grabbed my ankle and pulled me back.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Where do you think your going,” he asked angrily. I had pissed him off.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I felt him grab my hair, lifting me up. He threw me down on the bed and tried to unbutton my pants.<span style=""> </span>I kicked and screamed for him to stop. He grabbed me by my throat and squeezed until I started gasping for air.<span style=""> </span>I stopped struggling.<span style=""> </span>I wanted him to think I was giving in.<span style=""> </span>He lessened his grip on my neck and started unbuttoning my shirt. I let him while I calculated my next move.<span style=""> </span>He kissed my neck and I felt squeamish.<span style=""> </span>I saw my phone on the floor by the closet.<span style=""> </span>When he lifted me up to take my shirt off, I elbowed him in the nose again and leapt for the phone.<span style=""> </span>I grabbed it, ran in the closet closing the door behind me and tried to dial 911. He tugged at the knob but I was holding it with everything I had in me.<span style=""> </span>He kicked at the door. The phone was dead.<span style=""> </span>I was frantic. That was my last chance. I started screaming. He kicked the door in and grabbed me by my throat to stop me in my tracks. He picked me up with one move and threw me on the bed. My head hit the headboard.<span style=""> </span>I winced in pain.<span style=""> </span>He quickly got on top of me and pushed my legs opened. He was pulling at my pants but they fit me so snug it was harder than he planned.<span style=""> </span>I tried to kick him again and he fell back taking me with him. I was on top of him now. I tried running again but he was on me like an animal. He kept grabbing at my pants until they gave way. I kept yelling at him to stop. I hit the floor several times hoping someone would hear even though I remember my neighbor downstairs leaving as we were coming in. He worked nights. I was desperate.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I kicked at him again but it only made my situation worse.<span style=""> </span>He had pulled my pants down below my buttocks and was pinning me face down.<span style=""> </span>I couldn’t breathe. He had my face in the carpet.<span style=""> </span>I felt him part my legs with his knees and my skin felt like it was tearing.
<br />”No! Please no!”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I felt a tear at the entrance of my backside. I cried in pain. No one could hear me though. My head was being held down in the carpet.<span style=""> </span>I kept yelling and kicking and I tried to reach back and scratch him. He pinned my arms down and violently entered me. He thrust inside me so hard I moved a few inches over the carpet burning my face and chest. I tried one last time to kick him and then I heard a loud noise.<span style=""> </span>Someone was at the door yelling, “Police! Police!”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">He pushed off of me pulling his pants up and grabbing something that was on the floor. He grabbed it so quickly I couldn’t tell what it was until it was at my throat. He had a gun!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The police were at my bedroom door, guns raised and looking at Quentin.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">A female officer came in from behind the four male officers and looked at me.<span style=""> </span>I knew she was specifically there for me to help me whenever this nightmare was over. I looked at her pleading to please move so the police could kill this sonofabitch. She must have read my mind because she stepped back. The officer in the back came forward, lowering his gun. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">“What is your name,” he asked looking at me.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Toni. Toni,” I said gasping for air.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">He looked at Quentin.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“What is your name he asked him?”</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Quentin’s hold got tighter.<span style=""> </span>I felt myself getting faint.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">“What do you need to know my name for,” he asked yelling like a madman.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">“What is your name,” the officer asked him again even stern.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“My name is Q,” he said pulling us both backwards.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Quentin, there is nowhere to go. Let her go.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The Officer stepped towards us.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">His arm seemed like it was part of my throat. I could breath. I tried to speak with the energy I had left.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The officer raised his gun.<span style=""> </span>I could tell he was not one to play games with.<span style=""> </span>I hoped I was right.<span style=""> </span>I took my last ditch effort and elbowed him in the gut. I caught him off guard and dropped to the floor. He raised his gun and then I heard a shot fired.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Quentin fell to the floor grabbing his arm, yelling like a bitch!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I kicked him in his face once, twice, three times before the lady officer restrained me.<span style=""> </span>I screamed obscenities at him as she ushered me away. That night my home became a crime scene.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The female officer turned out to be a paramedic.<span style=""> </span>She introduced herself as Sean and started looking me over to see where to start. She started putting my arm in a soft cast when the officers walked rather pushed Quentin into the squad car.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">We both stopped and looked at him as he stared at me with eyes that were cold and empty.<span style=""> </span>My instincts had been right about him. Only if I would have let his ass walk by my car but I knew that I wasn’t thinking clearly.<span style=""> </span>He had been watching me, stalking me, waiting to pounce. It might not have been planned for tonight. But he had been determined. I looked away from him and starting crying. I couldn’t help it. I started crying uncontrollably and Sean stopped touching me for a moment to see if I would calm. I didn’t.<span style=""> </span>I felt my body get weaker, giving up.<span style=""> </span>When I opened my eyes I was on my ride to the ER.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> Sunshine Writerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12102456383882660164noreply@blogger.com10